Constant Childhood Moves
When I was little, we moved around a lot. I was born outside of the United States in Australia because my dad was Australian while my mom was American. I moved to the United States at eighteen months of age and began living in Wisconsin. Over the years, my parents’ marriage had its ups and downs. When they it a rough patch, they decided to move somewhere new. I lived all over the state of Wisconsin, I lived in California, and I lived in Washington state.
Being one of the very youngest in my grade and always being new was challenging. I have pretty intense, social anxiety that has somewhat abated in adulthood. But is still there. I think moving may have played a part in my anxiety.
However, there are pros to constant change. I think I actually crave change. In my career as it as an SLP, I have had no trouble changing from one job to the next. Additionally, moving made me very good at starting friendships and starting conversations with new people. But it didn’t make me that great at sustaining long-term friendships, or ending one for that matter. I was often living in another city before any friendship really solidified.
When I grew up, I learned that it is somewhat unique to move constantly. There was one lesson that I have taken away from my experience moving that has helped me year after year. I don’t remember how I put this together and it’s possible it was a therapist who gave me this type of support. I want to share this with you in case you are experiencing personal and/or professional change this fall.
The Two Week Rule
I noticed after moving to a new place it would take me two weeks to stabilize. During those two weeks, I could have a variety of highs and lows, but typically after two weeks, I would get to some kind of new normal.
Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like I completely adjusted in two weeks. Two weeks was enough for me to start to get into some kind of routine and get familiar with the lay of the land.
For whatever reason, I am noticing that multiple friends and acquaintances are experiencing some type of change this fall. Instability and change our constants in our lives. Most of the time we are fixed or rooted in our lives and moments of chaos spin around us. However, if you are uprooted because of a move or a big change, there’s chaos happening both in your life and around you. If that is the case, you could feel very unsure of yourself and the circumstances surrounding your life.
That’s why I want to encourage you to give yourself two weeks. Fourteen days to get your grip on a new reality. Two weeks to know where the grocery store is that’s the closest to your home. If you have changed jobs, give yourself two weeks to learn the basics of your work like where the copier is.
Two weeks isn’t enough for you to become a master or an expert of your new surroundings, but it’s enough for you to start to feel like you have control again. One time when I moved I remember having a breakdown on day 13. But then I reminded myself it’s still within the two weeks. And I realized that I was still adjusting to a new reality.
I’m not saying you won’t experience ups and downs in the future, but after two weeks, I noticed they had lessened quite a bit.
No matter if you’re inside of the two week period or you’re already past the two week mark, be sure to be nice to yourself as you navigate new circumstances. This life is a lot. I believe in you and I know you can persevere through change and adversity and come out the other side!